I need a vacation

Is it me, or has everyone in the known universe been on some sort of tropical vacation this (NEVER ENDING) winter season??? EXCEPT ME. Yes, wah wah, I’m experiencing quite a bit of self pity and dragging you down with me. But I want a vacation so badly I’m willing to cry about it to complete strangers. I desperately need to sit on a beach with a good novel and tune out the rest of the world while I fry my pasty white a$$ and sip mojito’s till I’m blue in the face. A plate of fresh mango, papaya, and pinneapple to munch on would be nice, too. And maybe a masseuse. On the beach. mmmmmmm....

But seriously, if some mysterious benefactor offered to fly me to the beach I’d leave in an instant, and yes, I’d leave Veggie behind if I had to (sorry Babe, but your schedule is rather restrictive for spontaneous travel), and even take the little monster with me. Yes, I’d withstand sleepless nights and lopsided sagging boobies in an ill-fitting bikini just to get some real, honest-to-god sunshine and “relaxation.” Of course, I’m probably fooling myself into thinking a week on the beach would give me motivation and inspiration to continue on with my dull existence in this frosty, forget-Spring-time-it’s-never-coming-back climate (just like a Dyson comes with a live-in maid, right?). Of course I should find my motivation and inspiration here at home in the gorgeous green Emerald City and its snow capped mountains. But let’s get real. Who doesn’t want a tropical vacation right about now???