“Dyson, The Bachelor, and Cheating on Blogger”

I haven’t posted to the Daily Droool since late last week, and believe me, this procrastination has been weighing heavily on my conscience. So much so that I am delaying watching the big Bachelor showdown just to spend some time writing. The thing is, I haven’t had much interesting to write about. Ok, that’s a lie, as you’ll see whenever I get around to posting the 14th Monthly Punkin, A LOT has been going on. So perhaps it’s just writer’s block. That, and what comes to mind when I sit down to write are things like my recent fascination with the Dyson Animal - things I don’t think anyone is interested in reading about. But perhaps, just because, I’ll write about what’s going on in my busy little brain anyway, just to see if anyone out there is the least bit interested...

So, I’ve become rather obsessed with the Animal. I desperately want someone to give me one (because actually spending $600 of my own money on a vacuum cleaner would be absurd). I practically droooled over one at Lowe's yesterday. And when I read that another mom blogger had one, I immediately began to hate her...But here’s the thing...I’m beginning to think that my obsession is not actually based in reality, that there really is no good reason to want the Animal, but that I have been completely and utterly bamboozled by the advertising world and Dyson’s sleek but dorky ads (perhaps because I, too, am sleek and dorky....ok, maybe not so sleek...) Do I really want a Dyson Animal because it’s a Dyson and well, everyone knows Dysons are the best vacuum cleaners out there and if you really value a vacuum cleaner, then...Or is it because somehow my addled brain truly believes if I get the best vacuum cleaner out there that somehow I won’t have to vacuum as often - that the pure power of the Animal will suck up Kdog’s hair without me even having to leave the comfort of my big red couch? Just like a new and better kitchen will suddenly give me more energy to cook dinner every night and invite friends over for brunch on Sundays and actually change out of my pj’s before 10am?

To answer my question, I thought about doing what I normally do - read reviews online till I go cross-eyed - but that would be a waste of time considering I won’t actually be buying myself a $600 vacuum cleaner. So instead, I decided to leave it to you, my millions of readers, to tell me just how ridiculous my obsession is...

As for the cheating, well that’s not what you think, so sorry to get your gossip girl-esque hopes up. No, this cheating is strictly of the blogging type, and I’m referring to Blogger’s new tool that allows you to future-date your posts, i.e. write a post and tell Blogger to post it 2 weeks from now because you know you can’t, won’t, will forget to, etc. Ok, so I’ll admit this tool is one I’ve dreamed of on more than one occasion, and normally would be thrilled to use it. But somehow I got all ticked off at this announcement and the idea that bloggers might have ways to be even more lazy about blogging (lazier than me even!), and that they might actually be able to bend the space-time continuum and that suddenly blogging is no longer a true daily diary, a window into the brain of the real-life person behind the blog, because to post without actually physically being there, at your computer, on May 5, 2008, at 10:07pm would just be a lie. And no one likes lies in the blogosphere.

Am I a heretic?