Teach your children well

Discipline comes from the word "disciple" which means "student." Therefore we should consider every instance of discipline a "teaching moment." But why does every second in life with a toddler have to be a "teaching moment?" I realized yesterday that everything I do, every step I take, every move I make (oh wait....that was just the song on the radio...see what happens to your brain after 2 kids? And you thought your brain on drugs looked bad...).

So what was I saying? Oh yes, some days when I ask Punkin to come get his diaper on, it would be nice if he would just listen to what I'm saying, acknowledge that he heard me say something, and then (GASP!) do what I asked him to do!!! Let's take that logic and apply it to EVERY SINGLE interaction between the two of us. Because there are many days when that NEVER HAPPENS. I ask him to come here, he runs away. I ask him not to hit the dog, he hits her anyway. I ask him to be quiet, he screams in my face. I try to change his diaper, he rolls onto his belly and, if I'm really lucky, farts in my face.

Now the parenting and discipline gurus will tell you these trying moments with your toddler are "teaching moments" and right now I'm just dying for a sabbatical. Can't we get from Point A to Point B without deviating from the course? Can't we just walk in the door, take off our shoes and coats, put them away, and make it through lunch without raising my mommy's-head-will-explode-if-you-do-that-again hackles?

Of course not, which is why we must greet these moments with calm, poise, understanding, a gentle voice and a kind yet firm explanation of why it is so important to mommy that you pay attention and that you are helpful and that, goddammit, you don't go running off to do your own thing because you will do what i say or else...oops. Calm. Poise. You want to draw pictures on the table with your soup? I guess we're all done eating. You don't want the dog to eat your snack? Let's use our words and not our bodies to ask Kdog to move away instead of hitting her on the nose. You feel like making lots of noise? You can go yell in your room.

Yes, life with a toddler is just one "teaching moment" after another, and you bet your ass you're being scrutinized every step of the way because one wrong step and your kid will be telling his therapist 30 years later that's why he hates to be barefoot indoors because his mother always yelled at him if he didn't take his shoes off before stomping around the house and who cares that he lived in Seattle where it was always the rainy season because it was her own damn fault for being too lazy to vacuum the floors more than once a month.

As parents of toddlers in the 21st century we are expected to keep our cool, be generous and gentle, and do everything by the new book(s). I have those books. They sit in my bookcase. Looking all sophisticated and diverse. And one of these days I might actually get around to finishing that one I started in summer of '08. Or maybe starting the one I bought last spring?

So to motivate myself, I plan to read each book and write a short little post on the important facts and skills to learn so that when the time comes I'll have a cheat sheet. Let's see if I ever actually get around to doing this.....

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

oh, and just because I'm a glutton for punishment we'll throw in the sleep books I never finished since neither kid sleeps well on his own and I could really use help:

Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Babies and The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley
Nighttime Parenting by William Sears
Sleep is for the Weak by Rita Arens

(Ok that last one is just for fun...it's sleep humor from some of the best "mommy bloggers" out there). I suppose I should have put them in ascending order, shortest to longest, since some get over 400 pages. I'll save those for last.

Wish me luck!

Night Light

One of the best purchases we made on our last trip to Ikea, Punkin insists on having this eery blue light on for bedtime. He can also carry it around and turn it off and on himself.

Baby Things

Mighty Girl has posted an excellent list of top baby things (useful ones, in fact!) and I had to second her recommendations. Out of her list, I couldn't have survived the first year without the My Breast Friend nursing pillow, a co-sleeper, universal car seat carrier, Happiest Baby on the Block, the kiddopotamus swaddling blanket, a Medela breast pump, and a video camera. I'm also a big fan of the American Apparel baby karate pants.

Check out the list (and the suggestions by other readers!).

“Portage Bay Cafe - our favorite so far”

I’ve let my “Over Easy” breakfast spot reviews fall by the wayside, so here’s another for all the Seattlites out there...

I discovered Portage Bay Cafe (PBC) on my first morning ever as a Seattle resident and I’ve been addicted ever since. I know I won’t do a good enough job describing it here, you’ll just have to see for yourself. But here are some of the high points.

The wait may be long, but that’s often the sign of greatness, and PBC is no exception. If you’re an early riser (or junior is) the wait is less than 15 minutes before 9 am. And while you wait, busy waitresses multi-task at the coffee bar filling double lattes and drips into hefty mugs, and they trust you to tell your server so you won’t have to get your wallet out twice. Once you’re seated, coffee is topped off, orders taken, and food delivered by the time your little one finishes his O cereal appetizer.

Food is generous and hot, and features local and organic produce. Pancakes and french toast come with an open invitation to the breakfast bar, a decent spread of fresh and previously frozen fruit and whipped cream. My favorites are the pancetta cake and saffron sauce Benedict, and the once a year pumpkin-filled french toast. Veggie likes the cinnamon twister french toast, and his only complaint is the scrambles tend to have dry eggs. But most of the time we go with the specials - they’re often the most interesting mix of local and delightful ingredients.

Tables in the banquet room are geared for large groups and families, with paper-topped tables and jars of crayons. The waiting area has a bin of toys, too. The staff is friendly and happy. And best of all it’s dependable - I have yet to have a bad experience at PBC. So for that, we compare nearly every other breakfast spot to Portage Bay.

A Bonus: about a month ago we dropped in at PBC just before 9am on our way to drop relatives at the airport. But the 25 minute wait was going to make us late for their flight. Luckily we’ve somehow become regulars, so the guy with the list just shuffled us right in to a table. Past 20 or so hungry, waiting, would-be diners. Just. Like. That. Now is that service, or what? Become a regular and you’ll get the rockstar treatment too ;)

Tilth: good food, spotty service

The ever hip, family-friendly Wallingford was recently blessed with a rare dining gem. Tilth is a fully certified organic restaurant, and those are few and far between, even in our eco-friendly neck of the woods. I like to consider myself an earth-friendly gal, and the recent trends in buying local and organic have sent my brain buzzing with excitement. I’ve been dying to go to Tilth since it opened in the fall of 2005, and their brunch menu was just as delectably enticing as dinner. So, for our second date since Punkin was born, we booked a table for Saturday brunch, left the kid with a sitter, and headed out for a promising meal.

Food = 50/50. I ordered the Croque Monsieur, a delicious ham and melted gruyere “sandwich” topped with béchamel sauce and a friend egg. Yummmm...Definitely not something I’d make at home, and just the right portion to fill my hungry tummy. Veggie had the truffled scrambled eggs over potatoes and spinach. Good, but we could easily make those at home...eggs? check. truffle oil? check. chives? yup....and Veggie thinks we could do it even better (maybe some wild mushrooms or cherry tomatoes and green onions?). Both dishes came out luke warm. I’m going to attribute that to the server, not the chef (see below). We never did get to try the Grand Marnier french toast with apple compote (again, thanks to the waiter) so our critique is limited to small portion of the menu. The heirloom tomato bloody mary was definitely a step above store-bought mix, but I’m no expert when it comes to vodka in the morning, so I’ll have to let you decide.

Service = terrible. The server was rude, forgetful, left us waiting forever, and even disappeared for 25 minutes during our 2 hour (yes TWO HOUR) meal. It was clear that out of the 4 waitstaff he was the most incompetent, and the others soon began to pick up his slack. But I’ve had better waiters at IHOP, and Tilth can do better than that. The final straw? Our side of french toast never arrived, but we didn’t complain - we were stuffed and ready to get to our movie. When our piss-poor waiter came to deliver the bill, he stopped short, mumbled something about needing to add an item, and returned a few minutes later with a new bill, minus the french toast. No apology. No asking if we still wanted it. Oh no, he just pretended like it never happened. Now that, my friends, is poor poor form.

Overall atmosphere = cold! It was January in Seattle. That week’s forecast was snow, snow and more snow. (and a little rain, too). But Tilth apparently forgot to pay the heating bill. Nearly every customer sat buried in their warm winter coats, clutching tiny teacups of coffee to stay warm. And the coffee? Have you ever been to a breakfast place that didn’t offer you coffee within minutes of sitting down? Cause we had to ask twice and wait 30 minutes before we got a cup (from another server of course) and Veggie began to show signs of stress when he saw the itty bitty cups that he could drain in two gulps. If coffee is the cornerstone of breakfast, Tilth is suffering serious structural deficits.

Kid-friendly? There’s a reason we left the larvae at home. But I did see 3 or 4 little ones, a few even in high chairs. How they stayed warm and how long their breakfast lasted I don’t know. There were certainly no changing tables in the bathrooms or slings for your table-side carseat. But to give Tilth a little credit, they’re not trying to be junior’s favorite, just organic.

Will we go again? That’s a good question. I’d definitely like to see how dinner fairs, and the french toast still has me curious. Compared to our old standby, Portage Bay Cafe, we rate the cost as comparable, the service lacking, and the food only slightly more interesting (PBC also touts local foods and many organics). Given the choice between the two, PBC is a solid winner.

Over Easy

As a mom, I don’t get to eat out much. In fact, I can count the number times I’ve had dinner out this past year on one hand. And with babe in tow, it’s really become more of a hassle than it’s worth. But every so often, Veggie and I take advantage of Punkin’s early morning weekend wake ups and we bundle up, pack the diaper bag, and head off to our favorite breakfast joint. Now, you should know that we do not take eating breakfast out lightly. In fact, we’re down right snobs when it comes to choosing the place where we’ll fork over $6 for a side of bacon or wait 45 minutes just to get seated. We’ve got a few requirements and a laundry list of ideals when it comes to breakfast spots. So I was super excited when I saw the cover of Jan ’08 Seattle Metropolitan Magazine: “Hot Breakfast Spots.” We’ve got our own favorites, but I was curious to see what SeattleMet had to say, and to find a few new places to try.

Here are my basic requirements...

Better than what you make at home: Veggie and I make a damn good sunday scramble and the occasional malted waffle with fresh farmer’s market fruit. So in order to deserve our $12/plate, a breakfast spot has got to be worth the usual outrageous price gouging.
Worth the wait: anyone knows sunday brunch means long lines and many cups of coffee on an empty stomach....but this should only be the case if the food (and service) is worth the wait.
Never leave hungry: this is Veggie’s requirement cause I’ve never left a breakfast spot with anything less than an overstuffed belly.
Bottomless coffee cups: don’t you dare charge for drip refills, and hold the sludge please.
Decent service: I don’t expect my waiter’s to all be cheery faced and bright eyed when facing a hungry mob at 8am on Saturday morning, but don’t be bringing in the trainees, the kid-haters, or the hung-over slackers, puhleeeease.
Kid-Friendly: duh. High chairs are great. Crayons are better. A changing table in the bathroom and a carseat sling at the table? Bring it on!

Got your own basic requirements? Let me know, ‘cause I’m sure I’m leaving something out. Now on to my first review...

Fantastic Fisher Price

Wow, am I fishing for add revenue or what? No really, the point of this post is to share with you a surprising discovery I’ve made. One that thousands, if not millions, of mothers have made over the past 78 years, I’m sure. What surprises me is that I’m going to sit here and adamantly advocate to other parents to consider using, buying even, products made in China, probably out of toxic plastics painted with lead (not really, but who knows these days). (By the way, since I haven’t made it clear already, I strive to buy mostly all natural, wooden toys and all that. But sometimes plastic is just so goooooood).

So what is this discovery, you’re no doubt wondering. Well.....I’ve discovered the magical wonders of Fisher Price. Yes, it’s been around since our grandparents were first learning about cause and effect, music, and mirrors. And there’s a good reason it’s still one of the most popular and successful toy companies to date. Their toys are brightly colored, but often relatively simple (i.e. not ADHD-inducing madness). They are most geared at teaching infants and children important developmental skills and discoveries. But most importantly, they have truly saved my sleep-deprived, only remotely sane self on more than one occasion.

Here are my favorites - my life savers:

Rainforest Jumperoo - we really wanted some sort of activity center for Punkin, but most of them were so busy we were truly afraid of giving him ADD. This one was the most tame of the lot at Babies-R-Us, and he looooooved it! We ended up getting a lot of the "Rainforest" gear and Punkin really liked the monkey the best. But we liked that he might recognize the characters when he moved from the car to the changing table to the jumperoo.

Ocean Wonders Cradle Swing - ok this one truly did save my life. I could go on and on, but basically for a few months of Punkin’s early life, it was the only way we could get him to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time. The most important part was that it swings side-to-side as well as front-to-back and the side-to-side motion is key in inducing happy baby snores ;)

Rainforest Peek-a-boo Leaves Musical Mobile - we mounted this over the changing table to distract Punkin during the dreaded diaper change and it worked! It was especially cool when he started tracking the animals going around above him.

Rainforest Monkey Auto Mirror - Punkin was like most babies and hated the carseat and the car. When we got this mirror he started “talking” to the monkey and they soon became best friends. Plus, like any mirror, it let me see what he was up to.

Healthy Care Booster Seat - this thing’s just awesome and it will last us forever (or at least until Punkin’s ready for a real chair). In our tiny kitchen it works much better than a full high chair, and we’ve taken it with us on long distance trips - it fits perfectly in the carseat bag.

Some other Fisher Price stuff we’ve been using:
Rock-a-Stack
Sound N’ Lights Monitor
Rainforest Delux High Chair Cover

So that's my spiel on Fisher Price. If I could only recommend one thing, it would be the swing. Even though we only used it for about 4 months, it was worth every single penny.