Endless possibilities

"What to do in a day with your toddler and baby?" For many people, the answer to this question is simple. They might choose to glide through the day from one necessity to the next, breakfast-to-diaper change, nap-to-lunch, and back again, filling the in-betweens with puzzles and stories or whatever else your toddler pulls off the shelf. Others start off the day with planned and (sometimes) carefully articulated activities. They might call themselves creative. They might call themselves Montessori proponents. They might call this homeschooling. (Is doing preschool-like activities at home with your 3 year old really "homeschooling?" Doesn't "homeschooling" imply your child would otherwise be in school? Should every 3 year old be in some sort of preschool?).

It's questions like these that plague me lately. Punkin has directed activities outside the home for 3 mornings a week. The rest of the week is devoted to play dates, infrequent trips to the park, and many lazy days at home playing with the gobs of toys we've collected from generous grandparents and such. But should I consider myself more of a teacher when it comes to those days at home? Should I set out a curriculum in advance and prepare an activity for each day? Should I make sure he's learning science, art, spelling, and drama? Should trips to the park be "field trips" full of educational tid bits and "directed" activities? Or should we just go to the damn park and play with whatever he wants? Am I even creative enough to come up with all these activities? Should I leave the creativity to others? Should I just stick to my minimalist ideas and approach every day with the simple goal of getting out on the other end with all three of us alive, fed, and relatively unscathed?

Really what it comes down to is a matter of job description. Should I treat each day like a day "at the office," where my clients (or bosses?) are my sweet and adorable but sometimes limit- and patience-testing children, and my job is not only to love and care for them, but to teach them, provide a safe learning environment and creative, preschool-esq activities aimed at broadening minds and perspective. I guess this would be the Homeschool Teacher job description. And I have full respect for this job and those who pursue it. But am I cut out to be a teacher?

I was mulling all this over the other day when I had to stop and ask (yet another) question: Did I apply for this job when I chose to get pregnant? If I had been "interviewed" during the hiring process, would I have jumped at the chance to have this job, or would I leave it to others (day care or preschool teachers) and spent my days at a real office? The time with your kids is great, but so is having a regular 9-5 job, one that actually ends at 5 o'clock, one you don't necessarily take home with you. One where your boss doesn't follow you into the bathroom and watch you pee and one that doesn't require you to wipe your bosses ass, at least not literally.

I could go on and on and on with this train of thought and I'm already losing track of why I started this post. The fact of the matter is, at present, I have chosen this job, no matter how unprepared I may have been for the demands. And now I must learn to excel at my job, or start seeking alternate employment. For the record, I'm seriously considering both options.

So, in addition to the assignment I gave myself last week to read all those parenting books that gather dust on my bookshelves, I'm giving myself one more, rather daunting task. In my "free time" I will research activities and ideas for how to "homeschool" my kids, try to define just what "homeschooling" means for me and my kids, and put all that I learn to good use. And of course, I'll blog about it along the way. And in all the time that's left over (HAHAHA) I'll search for part-time work, just to keep my options open.