Monthly Punkin: 18 months - no 19

I've been very very very bad. I haven't written about my baby in ages. It's not that I don't care, or that I don't think about him ALL THE TIME. No, I think more likely it's because I think about him and I'm around him and I'm, you know, parenting him, every waking hour of the day (and sometimes, many times, during the non-waking hours of the day - when sane people should be SLEEPING PEACEFULLY in bed). I think it's because when I finally get an opportunity alone where I might actually have a chance to write, it's like a vacation from my job and, you know, I've got other things to do and frankly other things to think about.

But that's no excuse. My Punkin is turning into a little boy right before my eyes and if I don't write it all down I might forget what it's like to listen to his sweet voice say "Mowww Mama," and to watch him crouch over his puzzles and grunt while twisting the pieces into place, and to feel the weight of his head on my shoulder in those rare moments when I hold him and he holds back tight but peaceful and full of sweet unconditional love. I know one day that love will be tested by teenagedom and hormones and bravado. So for now I must hold tight right back and promise never ever to forget.

In the meantime, I've been trying to decipher his personality. Yeah, I know this should be a no-brainer - I mean, who can't peg their own child's personality from, like, the womb? But this kid is a tricky one. Maybe that's his personality - crafty and mischievous, tumultuous and mercurial, loving and generous, obstinate and proud. I know a lot of those descriptors sound negative, but I'm proud of his proudness when he carries his finished puzzle into the kitchen for me to see and requests, "Mama 'ump?" And I see a bit of myself in his stubbornness when he asks over and over "Nana? Nana? Nana?" as he points to the fruit basket. And when his mischievous grin creeps across his little face and the little wheels spin faster and faster behind those dark, round eyes, I know he can thank his father for his quick thinking and creative mind. He will never be taken for granted, never forgotten or unseen.

Now if only he will learn how to dance with others...