.jpg)
It’s that time. I wasn’t sure it would happen. I thought maybe I’d be little “mother earth” for the next 10-odd years and raise babies into creative and amazing little kids and cook three course dinners and learn to sew their clothes and knit socks. I thought I’d be happy to spend 24 hours a day, nearly every day, with my little tiger and all the future mini monsters I conceive (and I use the term “monsters” with the utmost affection - the kind you use for a 2 1/2 foot person who one minute grabs you in a bear hug and buries his head in your neck and the next minute hits you over the head with a board book and lets out a huge belly laugh....yeah. monster).
But I’m not. It’s taken me 13 months to realize it, but I’m not sure I’m cut out for that life. Maybe it’s just our recent trip, but I suddenly crave distance from my child. And that’s not something I like to admit!
My therapist says I’m jumping the gun. She says I shouldn’t be thinking about a job. Yet. She says I should just seek ways of getting a break. A break from the house, the kid, the life I currently lead. So apparently she’s offering an all-expense-paid trip to Vegas for a month, right? Wrong. I soooo wish.
No, she’s suggesting a babysitter, a date night here and there, a(nother) mommy group, a gymboree class or 3. All on my dime. Or more accurately, on Veggie’s dime, since without a job I do not actually contribute to our monetary income unless of course you consider depletion a contribution. I sometimes do. consider it.
But I’m still gonna think about a job. Maybe something part-time, fun, pays just enough to cover child care, interesting enough to keep my mind sharp but not so much responsibility that I get fired cause there’s a sale at REI and I just have to go use my 20% off coupon before it expires! That’s not too much to ask, is it?
So if you see any job listings that I might be interested in, send them my way...
Catch up, stock up, and a timely metaphor
5 months ago
Posts
1 comment:
How about a job share with another Mom - Punkin's best friend's - for free babysitting exchanges - and then getting a job at REI?!
- or Whole Foods, IKEA, or any other great store - for discounts, and being able to cover those sales days, of course! Not glamorous, but practical. Oh, and don't forget to alert us here to those sales days!
Then again - my old Aunt Ann told me when I was going through the same considerations many years ago after baby number two - "Women's Lib is not about getting a job, honey, it's about getting a maid." It was a real wake-up call to me back then.
Considering you have a job - a job so demanding you need to get away from it (after all, you sleep, live, make love, breath 24/7 in your work place!)- all power to you to find some relief outside the home that makes money, instead of costs money.
Not making money - on the contrary - spending it most of the time - used to be so frustrating for me.
There is always the solution to live off the hubby's money with less guilt! That was by far the hardest for me - I tried to get there intellectually but it never worked.
The way to beat guilt I found, is with gratitude and humility (OUCH!!! for me)- some daily ritual of a deliberate hug or spoken Thank You for bringing home the bacon and all the other wonderful things he does - until I actually felt the gratitude.
Instead, for the longset time, I gave my husband endless explanations and descriptions about how hard my job was, even how much harder he was making it for me by being so busy with his job etc - it was very defensive and didn't work at all. And, I was jealous he got to go somewhere every day where there were adults, and then also got the glory of being the provider - and as a result making ME feel guilty about spending money - money we had to spend. I think all stay-at-home Moms feel that way at some point. But, guilt only disappears in direct relationship to one's gratitude. Even getting a job and making money to deal with it all didn't work. In my case - it just added to my daily load and increased my ingratitude.
I am ashamed to admit, my husband always did a wonderful job appreciating what I did all day - but it didn't do much because I couldn't appreciate myself - no matter how hard I tried.
In the end it was all about me appreciating HIM, which finally made me appreciate myself. It's so illogical how that works, it took me forever to figure it out, and I paddled in the wrong direction for the longest time.
I am not suggesting this is your issue as I don't know - and it certainly doesn't seem to be, judging from your posts - just posting my hard earned insight for the imagined benefit for your young Mom readers here. Also, truth be told, it's been days! -shame, shame - since I thanked my husband for anything. Typical - I always give the advice I need to hear the most myself :-)
I do love your blog and wanted you to know that. You do a great job talking about the ups and downs of motherhood and marriage with honesty and humor. That is a real service to Moms out there, and even fun and inspiring for an old Mom like me to be reminded of how hard it used to be, and get a chance to dish out some general advice to your readers - and myself - haha.
So, more importantly, when is the next sale at REI?
Post a Comment