Flying the friendly skies

I gotta buy some plane tix for this summer and my over-analyzing, sleep-deprived brain is making this simple task an enormous project. I'm flying with the Punkin, alone, across the country. This is not something I look forward to, but since I've done it already I know there's not much to worry about (besides a crap-filled diaper at the beginning of take-off, but Punkin usually shows respectful restraint in the untimely poop category).

Stressor #1 = Price: With the outrageous price of jet-fuel and the pending major airline mergers, ticket prices look astronomical to my budget-minded brain. Despite that, I really want to get the little monster his own seat this time. At +/- 24 lbs and a body 95% larger than most 1 year olds, he literally swallows up my lap, kicks neighboring passengers in his sleep, and comes dangerously close to losing a few toes when the drink cart comes by. And he's not getting any smaller.


Stressor #2 = baby friendly airlines (aka flight attendants that don't scowl at a +1 year old breastfeeding without cover-up). I gotta admit, the Delta airlines scandal of 2006 makes me wary, not to mention their pending merger with Northwest and all the potential for royally screwing up something as a result.

Stressor #3 = sleep sleep sleep. Red-eyes are not a practical solution for me. I do not sleep on planes unless drugged (not an option when flying with a toddler) or sacked out in a fully reclining business-class seat (a one-time luxurious experience that may never be repeated...sniff). And flying from Seattle to Texas to New York to Boston is, like, dumb.

So what would you do? What's your favorite, kid-friendly airline? Is one stop and a break from the airplane better than flying 5 hours straight with a cranky toddler? Please help. Please. Pretty please?

Kiwis make funny haha

Insight into married life...

Inflatable Husband

I need a blow up hubby. A backup. Just in case. Don’t take this the wrong way, Veggie, I’m not being morbid. Just practical. Because I’ve realized I’m seriously inept without you. I spent 10 days being a single parent and I’m really really bad at it! But it’s not just that I can’t do it alone. I truly don’t believe anyone else could do what Veggie does - whether it’s soothing Punkin back to sleep at 3am when I’m ready to drop kick them both out of my bed, or insisting on hugging me every day, no matter what, and always remembering. Ok maybe a clone would be better. A blow up doll would be crushed under the weight of Punkin’s 24 lbs. Although he might make a good punching bag when Punkin reaches his hitting and kicking phase...

Important Public Service Announcement

Ben and Jerry's has brought back from the dead Coffee Heath Bar Crunch! I'm treating myself to a cup...no, a bowl...slathered with hot fudge, and some Bachelor (one of my few...ok MANY...silly indulgences). Ahhhh.....I highly recommend treating yourself to something scrumptiously yummy chocolaty and some silly chick tv. It's a good night for it.

Monthly Punkin: 13

There are certain things I should write down, for the sake of posterity, so when you’re thirty and maybe have your own kids I can actually tell you what you were like as a one year old. So here’s the list:

Favorite Foods: Blueberries, hands down. Followed closely by grapes (aka Baby Crack). Raisins, dried blueberries and Goji berries are tied for third. Yogurt, by itself, or mixed with anything you thought you didn’t like. Everything else is just dog food.

Your many wiles: Master at applause and slippin’ some skin. Recently achieved a manual sayonara (that’s bye-bye). Practicing ambulation, with a little assistance of course.

And your wills: Smell the flowers. All of them. Over. And over. And over again. Drink from your mama’s cup, or dad’s. Put the top on. On anything. And take it off again. Chase and be chased. Open and close doors. Never be cleaned, except if it involves full body immersion, duckies, and splashing. Lots of splashing.

Sounds: Mamamama. Dadadada. Dah. Ohhhh. Ommmmmm (my little buddha).

The greatest thing(s): Your sound effects as you careen through the living room behind your trusty steed, the chomp n’ clack.

In rare moments, lucky moments, you remember how, and briefly, without barely noticing, you give me a kiss on the cheek.

Your contagious belly laugh.

Diet: Making parents go bananas

I just came across a website listing all the foods my child should not eat now that we know he has an egg allergy. Here's the list:

• baked goods - breads and rolls, pancakes, cakes, cookies, cream-filled pies, meringue, French toast, waffles, doughnuts, muffins, crackers, pretzels, baking mixes, and dessert powders; the shiny yellow glaze effect on many baked goods is achieved by using eggs or egg products
• beverages - eggnog, beer, root beer, Orange Julius, Ovaltine, wine, coffee, latte
• breaded or batter-fried foods - breaded meats (such as chicken nuggets), meatballs, meatloaf, sausage
• commercial egg substitutes - many of which are made with egg whites
• desserts - chocolate candies filled with cream fillings, marshmallow candy, fudge, icing, custard, pudding, ice cream, sherbet, gelatin desserts
• pasta - egg noodles, vermicelli, macaroni, spaghetti
• salad dressings and sauces - béarnaise sauce, hollandaise sauce, Newburg sauce, Caesar dressing, mayonnaise, cream sauces, tartar sauce
• soups - clear soups and broth, noodle soups, consommé, Chinese egg-drop soup

Yeah, anyone notice a problem here?? Like, what isn't on the list? Breeding paranoia much? So now my kid is supposed to live off edamame and cheerios? You'll be glad to know I plan to actively IGNORE this website and (almost) everything it has to say. The exception being all those weird names they use for egg derivatives, like albumin and ovomucoid. Sounds like a disease, not a food product.

Thankfully Punkin has decided bananas are his new best friend. Whereas before I couldn't get him to eat them unless they were artfully disguised as mush in yogurt, he now eats bananas by the 2 inch chunk. He has singlehandedly consumed an entire bunch of bananas in under a week. He also grips things with his toes and swings from the banister by his tail while simultaneously screeching and itching his armpits. OOOOH OOOH. ooh ooh ooooooh.

Hiatus

It's been seven (7?) days since I last posted and I'm really really sorry to be so negligent but you see I have several excuses. Which I'll get to later. But for now I'll just let you know I've been traveling, with a teething, sick kid, who got me sick, and I think we're both homesick. And now he's just woken up at 11pm and I must go. Too-da-loo.